A calming effect

Things are going well with Drew. We get along well and have a lot of the same interests. We have felt comfortable with each other from the beginning and seem to be able to be completely ourselves... open and honest. We have been spending a lot of time together. Knowing of my history to fall hard and quickly, a few days ago, I became concerned that I might be moving ahead in blindness. Knowing of my extremely monogamous nature, I became worried that becoming exclusive, combined with my nature to jump in so completley might prevent me from being open to other possible relationships. I am looking only for one person...but, I worry so much about making sure that decision is the right one. It is clear to me that the person I marry will determine everything about the rest of my life.

Almost in answer to my desire to ease this concern, one night this week Drew was doing something with his 14 year old daughter. The only other guy for whom I have developed any interest called me in the evening and wanted to drop by. (I'll call him Brad) Brad is getting his PhD in Economics and has a deep conviction of the gospel. He is a good man, it is clear. He recently began his PhD program at ASU and has been overwhelmed with homework and school responsibilities. I haven't seen Brad in awhile but he came over and we visited for about an hour. We had a good talk and again I was impressed by his goodness. The following evening, again, Drew was doing something with his daughter. Brad called and we went downtown with Peter to an art fair. We had a good time. He is good, interesting, fun and attractive. At the end of the night, however, I found myself missing Drew.

Unfortunately, I have lived a little too much of life. Now with a child, dealing with a co-parent and the other pressures and responsibilities that a working mother feels, I seek for companionship from one who has the ability to comprehend. I feel that Drew offers the mature outlook on life that one who has had simpler lessons in life has difficulty understanding. As I continue to pray that I will be led to the right decision, I know that I am receiving that direction.