November

It's been a month. Things fizzled out really quickly with Russ...hard to imagine since we had limited time to see each other. I work quickly. Seriously, what is my problem? Since then I have been lined up three times.

• Number 1...the magician. The magician is in the neighboring ward and knows a good friend of mine. He has two girls, 11 and 9 and a boy, 6. Perfect situation on paper. I would really love something like that. The first night he called me, we talked for about 15 minutes. During that time, I learned all about his divorce. 12 years of marriage and then his wife left him after multiple affairs...all with women. During our conversation, I was on facebook and chatting with my brother over in India. In his opinion, I should run while I could still see. If his wife left him for a woman...and he was completely unaware, there were problems too big for me. We went out. He was nice. I thought a little feminine. Aside from a few text message conversations, I haven't heard from him.
• Number 2...my mom's pick. This one, for me, holds the most promise. And, I think it is because my mom picked him out. She is head over heels in love with him. Each time we have talked about him on the phone, she says over and over, "He is just so strong!" After being completely taken by my dad's material and hearing my parents needed extra help with their yard, he offered to do side work for him on his time off his other job. He has done that for awhile. On the 11th of this month, all my siblings went home for the day to pay tribute to my dad who was giving a BYU devotional address, marking the beginning of his retirement. My mom strategically arranged for him to pick me up from the airport so we could drive the way down to Provo together...and see if we were suited for marriage. I love my mom. It was a good time. He is young and open....refreshing. We talk. He will come down this next weekend for my company's annual Gala. My dad will be honored at the event and will give a seminar so it promises to be a great time.
• Number 3...the police officer. Not a match. I was even laughing aloud at lunch. I told him that it was very odd that I was on a date with a police officer as I had always had an issue with authority. We had talked on the phone prior to meeting but at lunch he asked me again what kind of law I had practiced. When I said "criminal defense," he said, "I thought that is what you told me on the phone but then I convinced myself I must have heard wrong because surely you must sleep at night. During the conversation, I learned he had 4 boys and that he believed in "capital punishment." "I think it is fine to spank my boys," he explained. I didn't correct him. We went out the day after Thanksgiving and he had been in line that morning at 3:30 am waiting to get an automatic weapon. There were only four left...and the stores would no longer be selling them. He was elated because he was 2nd in line and he got his gun. I felt badly for lying at the end of the date. When he asked me if he could call, I smiled and said yes. I guess I wasn't lying...he could call...but I am sure that I won't be seeing him again.

In the meantime, aside from these blind dates, I have been seeing two guys. One was a set up from last month and one I met while coaching Charlie's soccer team. The first is nice. Solid and good. He is my age and we will see. The second is also nice. I don't know yet how committed either one is to living the gospel. The second has been married before and has two darling boys. I love his boys. One of his boys was on my soccer team. The other is three and such a sweetheart. His biggest drawback is his ex wife. She is nasty. She is also determined to obtain every penny he ever earns. Difficult.

So, it is not as if I don't have options. I really wonder if something is not fundamentally wrong with me. The other day, my boss called me into his office. In all seriousness, he asked me, "Do any of your other siblings have your disease?" "What do you mean," I asked. "I have never seen anything like it," he explained, "you are so hot-cold. You will meet someone and be convinced he is "the one" and then days later, you can't even remember his last name...sometimes even his first."

His observations are absolutely correct. I am not oblivious to this pattern. I don't know the answer. I am trying to figure it out. I don't want this to continue. I do want to get married.